The magic of saying no | Diane Sanfilippo

The Magic of Saying No

Who else is saying *NO* more?


What happens when we say “no” to people, activities, and even to ourselves? It’s usually the most honest answer you can give, yet somehow, it’s the absolute hardest.

Allow me to release you from the turmoil that comes from this in-between state you may be in right now… saying no to something, someone, or even yourself, right now, is saying YES to something else.

Example: you have a BIG idea or project you want to work on, but right now, life is super hectic. And, you know that this moment will pass, and there is a time in say a month or two when you will honestly have more time and freedom to make this project happen. Not an imagined future-state when *things will be better* magically. No. An actual change in your situation that is truly a better setting in which to complete this project.


So, instead of beating yourself up for not working on this project every day for the next month or two, SAY NO TO YOURSELF. “No, self, right now is truly not a good time. And, here’s the plan for when it will be a good time, and exactly how I will tackle it in that time.”

By honestly saying no, you can release the tension of the present time. You can say YES to being present. Let yourself enjoy what you can of your life, rather than toiling in this place of “I should be working on my project but I just can’t seem to make it happen.” That’s truly some emotional self-sabotage right there.

Deciding “no” is just as powerful as deciding yes. Either way, own the decision and make it confidently. It’s better to make a decision solidly than toil in the middle and keep trying something that you are pretty sure isn’t working but you want it to… just say “no, not right now.”

The power of no is really big. It will make the time when you truly cannot commit to something FEEL WAY BETTER. Then, get yourself IN GEAR when the moment is right or nearly right, don’t let your goals and projects slip away. But don’t be afraid to be honest and realistic about when you can take action on them.


So tell me, what are you saying NO to this week? Comment below – I’d love to hear from you!

10 thoughts on “The Magic of Saying No

  • Hi Diane! Gerri from Syracuse, New York writing to tell you I am FINALLY saying “NO” to sugar! I’m at day 5 and feeling pretty good. I need to re-read your 21 day Sugar Detox though….

  • I’m finally saying no to a friendship that no longer serves me or my goals. It doesn’t lift me up. It stresses and drains me! It’s taken a long time but I need positive people in my life who lift me up & are genuinely interested in me and my well being!

  • This year, with a new baby coming in the Fall I said “no” to homeschooling and sent my son to school. It’s an adjustment for our family to get him to school everyday but it’s beast for everyone and especially for me, that I don’t have to “do it all”.

  • This is what I needed today. I said no to an opportunity at my job today. It would have involved more traveling and time away from my family. It would have taken my career in the right direction. But the thing is I have a 10 month old at home that I am still nursing. We are trying to make it to a year nursing (and hopefully beyond!). But that was tough to tell my boss that now is not the right time for me to be taking on this project. In two months, when I no longer have to pump for my little one at work that might be the right time to talk about the project again. But for now I have that weight off my shoulders and I can focus on the present. Being present with my current job duties and also being present with my little one when she needs me the most. By saying no to my job right now I get to say yes to my daughter. And I get to say yes to my personal goals.

  • No to a couple of invites for lunch. I’m one of those “people pleasures” but I’m not willing to sabotage my restart of 21DSD!!

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