Topic

1. You’re not that special. if you’re going through a struggle, someone else has too.
2. If one person reads what you wrote, and their life is better for it, isn’t that enough?
3. If you’re in it because it’s a business, then your ‘why’ is kind of off.

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Build a Badass Business: Episode #45: Is self doubt holding you back?

Coming to you from the city by the bay, this is Build a Badass Business with Diane Sanfilippo. Diane is a New York Times bestselling author and serial entrepreneur. She’s here to teach you how to grow and develop a successful business you love, and how to create raving fans along the way. Here she is, your host: Diane Sanfilippo.

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright, I want to talk about self doubt today. I have an email here that says, “I’m about to release a shorter free eBook. What I’m struggling with is, would people value this enough to read it? Who says my opinion matters? I know you’ve been helping people share their passion lately; what makes someone who shares their passion a Diane-ess;” meaning like me, “versus a person who no one cares about reading?”

So this is someone who had sent me a longer eBook to look at, and I had sent back some feedback a long time ago, maybe a few years ago. And I sent

some feedback, and this person is just kind of coming back around to deciding to release that information out into the world. And I know a lot of you guys are struggling with this idea of; whether it’s putting out blog posts, releasing eBooks, products, programs, whether they’re free or they have a price tag on them. The same idea of; who says my opinion matters? Who says that anyone wants to read this?

I’m actually going to read you guys the response that I wrote, because I think this is something that everyone needs to hear. So this is kind of my take on this whole thing; and it’s everything when it comes to business and entrepreneurship. It’s all about mindset. The way that every successful entrepreneur gets to where they are today; the way they got there, every story is so different. It’s never like; here’s the check list. Here’s the path that everyone took, so I should take that too. It pretty much has nothing to do with that. It has nothing to do with every action. Of course it has to do with saying yes to things, and all of that, but it has to do with mindset more than anything else. So here’s what I wrote:

“You can’t go into sharing your stuff thinking that if it doesn’t get “big” then it isn’t worth sharing. If one person reads what you wrote, and their life is better for it, isn’t that enough? I never wrote a blog post thinking that if X number of people read it, then it will be worth it. You’ve got to put stuff out because you’re moved to do so and share with the world, not based on some expected response or return. That part is nice, but it really can’t be your why. I started blogging to no one first, and teaching to 3 people in a room before I ever got “big”.

Thinking that things need to be big to matter is self limiting. Help one person, even if that one person is yourself. Then be happy with your work if it helps anyone else, when it helps anyone else, one by one be grateful you can reach them all.”

So for this person, I know that writing that eBook was probably really cathartic. I know that for a lot of people, writing blog posts, writing Instagram posts, it’s really cathartic. It helps you get something off your chest, it helps you work through something. I used to write a lot of Monday Motivation posts, and that’s exactly what they were. It was kind of some self reflection, some things I was going through, and I’ll tell you. To this day, one of my best friends, Tony Kasandrinos, who I talk about all the time, he has an olive oil company, I encouraged him to get that started; he scopes all the time now. You guys see him all over social media. We became friends because he saw a Monday Motivation post that I wrote and he was like; yes, I totally am with you. And then he came to one of my seminars, and it’s like, everything just kind of goes from there.

You guys; if you look at where somebody is today, and you think, well my stuff doesn’t matter, I can’t get to where they are, then you’re blinding yourself to this whole process and the amount of time it took for any of those people who are at whatever level. I say “big” or whatever; there are different levels of this stuff and I never want to think that what I’m doing is so big that helping one person is not what matters. Helping one single person at a time is what matters. Because if I were to put this scope out, and there weren’t 100 people watching it right now; or if I put this podcast out and thousands of people didn’t download it; if one person did and sent me a note, or didn’t even send me a note. Just kind of went out and changed their life because of it, or felt differently, or thought differently, then that’s it.

I think when it comes to these sort of creative endeavors; endeavors of the heart, where it’s like you feel you have this information to share, you just have to do it because it’s something you feel you’re burning to do. If you’re in it because it’s a business, then your why is kind of off. Does that make sense?

It’s fine if you have a product to sell; let’s say you have a grain free granola or something like that, and you think that it’s about the product. But really it’s not about the product; really, the why is you know how hard it is to struggle with a food allergy. So you want to help people live a better life, and just be happier, and live an easier life because you’re creating a solution to a problem for them. So that’s all you’re really doing, and I think the better you are at solving problems, the more successful of an entrepreneur you’ll be. The more successful of a business person you’ll be.

For some people, it’s solving a problem in a really creative and genius way. So if you look at Apple products for example; the way they do things is it’s solving a problem and it’s doing it with beauty and it’s doing it in a way that people really respond to in an emotional way, and that resonates with people. You can just put out a phone; or you can put out a phone that enchants people and it makes them feel excited and happy. And giving people that little piece of joy, you just can’t replace it.

So long story short, I think if you’re sitting there feeling like you don’t have something to say because you’re only going to reach nobody; you know. You’re going to put out a blog post, and nobody’s going to read it. Chances are, somebody is going to read it at some point, and who knows when that somebody is going to just feel like you’re speaking to them, when really you were probably just talking to yourself. You know? If you write something that you feel is deep and meaningful, and you’re like, why does anybody care what I have to say… why does that matter? I honestly think, why does it matter? Why does it matter who cares what you have to say?

If nobody is watching this right now, I don’t care. Those of you who are watching it; if there’s one person, if there was one person on the other side of this scope, of this podcast, and you were like; you just hit the nail on the head. If I move just one person, that’s it. It’s totally worth it. And you just never know when that one person will find this thing that you put out there into the world. And again, it kind of still comes back to you, like maybe that one person is you. For me, this particular topic is not one, but for me a lot of my Monday Motivation posts I wrote because I was like, I really need to hear this. Or I needed to hear it over the weekend when this thing happened to me, and then I write about it.

The reasons why people struggle with self doubt are so vast; it’s not something I feel that I’m an expert on at this point. It’s not something that I can unwrap for you and sort of deconstruct and really get to the root of at this point, and I think that everyone probably has to do some different work around figuring out why they have those limiting beliefs and self doubt. But I can tell you this; the work that you’re going to do, the information that you put out, the content that you share, the blog post, whatever it is, it’s going to reach someone. Because honestly here’s the truth; you’re not that special. And I mean that in the sense that, if you’re going through a struggle, or you’ve had a problem and you write about it, someone else has too. Maybe not 100% exactly the same way, but you’re just not that special. And I mean that in the best way possible. Other people have similar problems to you. Other people have had almost the exact same problem as you most likely.

So if you feel like you’ve worked through it or you found a way to kind of present a new mindset, present a way to work through it, then share that with somebody. Why not? Especially if you feel motivated and inspired to do that, then don’t hold it back. You’re not serving anyone; you’re actually dealing with more of an ego problem if you don’t share what you have out there, because you feel like you just want to protect it in a little bubble. If you think that what you have is so special and unique, and the problem you have is so special and unique, then you’ve got another thing coming, because it’s not. But that’s kind of the upside. You can share that with someone and help them. Help them get through something that they’re dealing with.

You guys see this every day in blogging. You see folks who are dealing with a health journey, a health struggle, a health crash, a health revolution, they turn over a new leaf, they find a new solution for themselves, and when you see that, you’re just inspired. You can see yourself in someone else’s story, and that’s what really pushes you to make change.

People talk all the time about wanting to see scientific studies about the paleo diet, for example. And it’s such a small percentage of the population who actually makes a movement to change based on something that they might read in a study. There are people for sure that are motivated by that, but the vast majority of people are motivated by someone’s story. By social proof; by someone that they know who has had an experience, and they’ve shared their experience. So if you don’t share your experience, you’re just holding back from the world to have a little sense of improvement because of your struggle.

Hey guys, I’m so glad you’re loving the show. Let me ask you to do me a favor; come follow me on Periscope. You can find me; I believe you can search Diane Sanfilippo, or you can search @BalancedBites, which is my Twitter handle, which is the account name over on Periscope. I am going to start doing live sessions, really quick thoughts for the day. I’m not sure if it I will be every day, but it will be pretty often, and some Q&A on business topics and motivation, inspiration, etc. So make sure you’re following me over on Periscope. Download the app in the app store, and I will see you there.

That’s all I’ve got for you guys today. Don’t forget to subscribe in iTunes so you don’t miss an episode. And drop me a review to let me know what’s speaking to you from the show. If you want to get in on the conversation and you haven’t yet joined the group already on Facebook, head on over there and join the Build a Badass Business group. I share insights and tips regularly, as well as answer your questions right there on the page. Do work that you love, and hustle to make your business grow like your life depends on it, because it does. Thanks for listening, and I’ll catch you on the next episode.